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Let’s talk about masks.

I hate them. They're uncomfortable. They make it slightly harder to breathe. They aren’t fun to wear when it is 105 degrees outside. But you know what? I wear mine anyway because that's what a responsible person does. 

When the Las Vegas Review-Journal asked me about it, I said “I’m not wearing this stupid mask for me. I’m wearing it for you. If I’m infected right now and I don’t know it, and I can put this mask on to keep you from getting sick, I’m going to do it.”

I’ve had it with some of you. I am completely disgusted with how people can act with absolutely no regard for the lives of others.

So let's call this what it is: “Masks: Quit your bullshit.”

Myth: I don’t wear them because they don’t protect me

The reason to wear masks is to protect the people around you. If you are asymptomatic and spreading the virus, wearing a mask decreases the risk of transmitting it to someone else. It does nothing for you. This is a purely altruistic gesture. If we all wear them, we protect each other. 

I'm wearing a mask because I care about you, and you aren't wearing a mask because you only care about you. I bet you don’t wash your hands before you leave the bathroom or cover your mouth when you sneeze either. Your kindergarten teacher would be so very proud.

Quit your bullshit and put on your mask.

Myth: There is no proof they work

There is a growing body of evidence that they work. A study by the journal Health Affairs estimated that in a five-week period in April and May across multiple cities. Of 140 people exposed to , none were infected; both hairdressers wore masks. found reduced transmission rates in cities where masks were mandated. We don’t have all the studies we wish we had, but that is the reality of the situation. 

Quit your bullshit and put on your mask.

Myth: The guidance on wearing masks keeps changing

No, not really. It changed one time a couple months ago. In the early days of the outbreak, we told people not to wear medical masks because 1) there was a shortage of personal protective equipment in hospitals and 2) they weren’t going to protect you. That second point has not changed. They still won’t protect you (see above). By using fabric face coverings, you are not competing with hospitals for protective equipment. More importantly, the situation changed, so we changed the guidance. Once. One time. A couple months ago. That’s it.

The guidance does not keep changing. Even if it does change, that isn’t a bad thing. If we are not open to changing our guidance, that means that we either aren’t trying to learn anything about COVID-19 or that we are ignoring it if we do. 

Quit your bullshit and put on your mask.

Myth: The World Health Organization says not to wear them

Is this the same WHO you were roundly criticizing a few weeks ago for not putting the smackdown on China? Now you want to act like they are the only people who know anything? You want to use them to support your argument now because it aligns with you? Sorry, it doesn’t. 

The WHO releases guidance for every country on earth as a whole. That includes countries without widespread transmission and countries with widespread transmission. Where there is widespread transmission, like the United States, they recommend that governments encourage their use “in settings where physical distancing of at least one metre is not possible – such as on public transport, in shops or in other confined or crowded environments.” 

So no, they do not recommend that everyone on the planet wear a mask right now. Of course they don’t. A blanket guidance makes no sense, as different countries are at different levels of risk. But for places like the U.S., they think you should wear one.

Quit your bullshit and put on your mask.

Myth: The particles are smaller than the pores in the mask so it can’t stop them

You are claiming that the virus can go right through the mask but oxygen can’t get in and carbon dioxide can’t get out so you shouldn’t wear one? Sure, that makes sense. SARS-CoV-2 is 500 times the size of an oxygen molecule, but sure, it can move right through the mask and oxygen can’t. 

Quit your bullshit ... wait, it’s not time for that yet. 

I’ve seen the analogy that the virus is so small and the mask pores are so large that it is like a mosquito flying through a chain link fence. That is an oversimplification to defend an incorrect understanding of science. First, the viral particles don’t leave your mouth at that size. They start out larger and shrink due to evaporation. Second, they don’t come out in a nice, single-file line with the ability to navigate the mask. They all come out together, bang into each other, hit the mask and so on. Lots of them get caught. That’s the idea. Go sneeze on a window screen and see how much crap is left on it. Same idea. It doesn’t have to be perfect – we are talking about risk reduction, not risk elimination. 

Quit your bullshit and put on your mask.

Myth: Masks poison us with carbon dioxide

Remember when all the medical professionals died from carbon dioxide toxicity that first day of the outbreak because they all wore masks? No? Yeah, me neither. You seem to be confusing wearing a porous mask with wearing a plastic bag over your face and head. 

Quit your bullshit and put on your mask.

Myth: Masks decrease oxygen intake

This is the same argument as for carbon dioxide. No. No, it doesn’t. Low-resolution images with misspelled text shared on Facebook are not scientific evidence. 

Quit your bullshit and put on your mask.

Myth: The Americans with Disabilities Act says I don’t have to

Having a disability does not mean that the mask rules do not apply to you. That’s an exemption, not an accommodation. If you pose a “direct threat” to the employees and other customers, they can refuse you entry. 

The whole idea behind a mask mandate is that we all pose a threat to others (because of asymptomatic/presymptomatic disease). They can find another way to serve you, but they are not forced to simply ignore a policy that is in place to protect everyone in the facility. If you have a lung condition that puts you in the high-risk group for disease, please stay home. You are one of the people we are trying to protect. 

If you are lying and using a law that was designed to protect people with disabilities from discrimination to try and get out of wearing a mask, quit your bullshit and put on your mask. And seriously reevaluate your life.

Myth: People are only wearing masks to express their disapproval of the president

I wish — that would mean that almost 60 percent of the population wore masks. Ignore the bullshit and put on your mask. 

Myth: If masks work, we don’t have to have any social distancing restrictions. If social distancing works, there is no need for mask

Unfortunately, people who follow this line of thinking think that because neither provides perfect protection, you shouldn’t bother with either. Wow, do they miss the point. These things work together, not alone. It's like wearing a seat belt even if you have airbags. You don’t get to pick and choose and only follow some of the safety guidance. 

Quit your bullshit and put on your mask.

Myth: The government can’t tell me what to do

Yes, they can. settled this 115 years ago. As associate justice, John Marshall Harlan wrote in the majority opinion about a smallpox vaccination mandate “There is, of course, a sphere within which the individual may assert the supremacy of his own will and rightfully dispute the authority of any human government, especially of any free government existing under a written constitution. But it is equally true that in every well-ordered society charged with the duty of conserving the safety of its members the rights of the individual in respect of his liberty may at times, under the pressure of great dangers, be subjected to such restraint, to be enforced by reasonable regulations, as the safety of the general public may demand.” 

This virus is currently the seventh leading cause of death in the United States and is on pace to become the third. I think that qualifies as great danger. And the downside? You are inconvenienced? That’s your stand against tyranny? You don’t want to be inconvenienced? Stop acting like a petulant child who thinks they can do anything they want without consequence. Grow up. The real world has consequences, and the consequences here could be that you kill someone. 

Let me be abundantly clear, then: When you go out in public, quit your bullshit and put on your mask.